Sunday, April 8, 2012

Support Group And Am I Supportive?

In my last post I mentioned I was going to a support group for caregivers. It has been "sad and wonderful". I feel such empathy for the ladies in the group. Each has their own turmoil that they are dealing with. Each of us different but alike. I guess that would be the sad part.

The wonderful part is that I don't feel alone. I have a SAFE place I can go and know that no one will ever belittle me or hurt me. Most importantly what we say stays in the room. We don't share it with anyone. They listen to me and sometimes I feel like I have diarrhea of the mouth...you can't shut me up. But mostly I find the women wonderful. They are all so interesting and intelligent. The group coordinator is very calm and insightful. I see her watch and listen and ask great questions to steer the conversations and make us all think of the possible solutions to our individual needs. She also gives us something to work on till our next meeting.

I'm not sure how much I give in the way of support. I'm not much of a phone person. And like all the other women we are caregivers for our spouses. Mine is a quadriplegic(I'm sure I may have mentioned it before) and it is a full time job in and of it's self! Sometimes I have felt the overwhelming need to call and just say hi to one of the women but I always feel like I would be a pest. I think of all of them each day while I walk on my treadmill. I wonder how they are doing and if they are having a good day. (Of course I think of other things and of my diet buddy Debb!)

Sometimes I think I need to just row my own boat. You don't have anything to give. Your opinion is not important. Your not a professional. I really can't help. Don't worry about others. Mind your own business. Then I tell myself what a lonely place the world would be if we all thought like that.

When it comes to my weight I have a friend and diet buddy. Her name is Debb. She lives in another state but you would think we lived next door to each other. With her help I have been soda free and exercising! She is going through a difficult health issue right now and must lose weight. Yet she is there for me with calls and emails. So my point is...am I a support for her in the way she is for me? I am NOT. Then I wonder am I supportive of the women in our group? Can I do better? YES!

I think this is something I need to change about myself. I'm so scared to give of myself totally to friends or even family. It's something I will think about...now to email Debb! :0)

What support do you have in making healthy and happy lifestyle changes? Support group? Family? Friends?
I'd love to hear form you! :0)

Till my next post...

3 comments:

  1. ???? Wow Shirley..... I'm going to totally disagree with you. You have become a dear friend to me and offer me lots of support (via internet and emails). You offer encouraging words, meaningful conversation and a feeling that you are truly committed to your friends.

    I actually don't have much support in making healthy and happy lifestyle changes.... other than my 'online crafting' friends and one or two friends that I see a couple of times a month.

    It is an extremely hard thing to 'open up' to people and even harder to ask for help. I'm one to take on others issues and help them and I'm always there for my friends ......

    I often wonder what sort of friend I am .... but I must be a good one ... otherwise I wouldn't have any!

    I know that you ... Shirley ...... give me encouragement and happiness everytime we talk .... you definitely make my day a happier one!

    xoxoxox Carly

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  2. Thank You Carly!

    You are more than a friend...your like a sister to me! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it's "even harder to ask for help". :0)

    Thanks for starting my day off with a smile and reminder of how lucky I am to have so many wonderful friends!

    Hugs,
    Shirley
    xoxoxox

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  3. I know you will be there for me every step of the way! You can't get much more supportive than that! I feel like I have let you down so many times, yet you are always so great to give me encouragement. I do have some challenges now, but with them comes a greater motivation to get these 100 extra pounds off! Still 22 down! Hope to talk to you soon!
    Hugs,
    Debb

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